Me Uncle's Wake

Me Uncle was a drinking man and maybe that's to blame He was only forty-seven when the Banshee called his name A giant man with two big hands, he'd stood at six-foot-four So when the table wasn't big enough we laid him on the floor No-one knows what killed him, they found him in the shed It must have been a heart attack is all the doctor said When he was done the priest had come and said his couple of prayers And we dug the fancy china out from underneath the stairs Shots and bottles and pints and cans, enough to fill a lake Preparation for the visitors we knew we'd have to make We thought that maybe there'd be ten or twelve, but that was our mistake 'Cos half the feckin' county landed above at Me Uncle's Wake The people were arriving from all across the land A hundred solemn greetings, a thousand shaken hands In single file they spent a while above at me Uncle's side And asked each other how could such a mighty man have died? There was a glass in every hand and a drink in every glass Some brought from the local, some made in the bath With no sign of stoppin' every drop went straight to every head And any man that asked for half a double he got instead Shots and bottles and pints and cans, enough to fill a lake I had to get some soakage and I found a slice of cake Well the seven layers of chocolate, no difference did they make 'Cos I nearly saw the lot again above at Me Uncle's Wake I saw old Paddy Losty raise another to his lips He'd had his packet o' peanuts, he was looking for some crips The young Murphy twins with hairless chins were trying to keep the pace But they were only halfway down the second when Paddy was through the case Me neighbours were out dancing, me mam sang Fiddler's Green The local politician was making sure that he'd been seen Me cousin Mick was getting thick with a man from out of town But the sing-along got up and music always calmed him down, it went... Shots and bottles and pints and cans, enough to fill a lake I felt me liver begging leave it down for Jesus' sake! But I couldn't be seen to stop, me reputation was at stake That's why I nearly died meself above at Me Uncle's Wake The hour was running late, the clock showed after four Half the crowd by now had joined me Uncle on the floor The rest of us were dangerously close to giving in But to waste the last few dropeens, well now that would be a sin So we took ourselves to task, we tested our resolve 'Twas then then I felt me consciousness was starting to dissolve I grabbed me cap, and out the gap I tried to make me way But after two laps round the sitting room I thought it best to stay Shots and bottles and pints and cans, enough to fill a lake Me stomach wasn't happy, in me head there was an ache The legs were gone from under me, so I lay there like a snake And every bit as poisonous above at Me Uncle's Wake The room it was a-spinnin', the earth began to quake I couldn't stop the tremblin', I couldn't stop the shake I thought: I won't be fit for work tomorrow, me death I'll have to fake I wonder could I have a few above at my own Wake? Oh shots and bottles and pints and cans, enough to fill a lake The morning was approaching, the dawn began to break Well I never thought I'd see the day, but no more could I take The night I nearly lost me life above at Me Uncle's Wake