Hello this is Winston Virginia from WBLLL

Reporting at you live from downtown Hookson

By the apple orchard

The scene has been amok with distress all afternoon

Seeing violent confrontation of people rising and clashing in the streets

Caramel sauce

Spewing

(Spewing)

That's right Winston

After recent allegations of coring the brains of his own constituents

Kandi Korn

The encumbrent mayor of Hookson

Has been caught f-causing war with the Fruit Bats

He turned own home into a mechanical fortress

With legs and cand-caramel launchers

(Caramel launchers)

Oh my gosh he-look over there

It looks like B-Bomepheous has taken out the last caramel launcher on Kandi Korn's home

That's it

His mech fortress is defenseless

Oh, and the citizens know it

They're rising they're com-hot dozens and hundreds of 'em

(Dozens and hundreds of 'em)

Hey uh Paul Joe here

I'm not the cameraman

I'm more of a Camel man

But if you look over there

Kandi Korn just got walloped

(Walloped)

By the Governor's step-wife

Commander of the Fruit Bats

She walloped him right in the popper

After much consultation

It would appear as though the rumors are indeed true

As you can still see, the Governor's step-wife has

And continues to

Strike Kandi Korn with her fists

Oh, and there he goes

Catapulting off of the house mech

Off of one brutal blow

And into the orchard

(Spewing)

(Wallop)

(Spewing)

(Wallop)

Oh everyone's covered in caramel now

Look over there

The Korn is stuck to the tree now

Everyone get the bats

Run toward the tree

Bats high, get that caramel

Get it fused into the bark

As soon as you can

Run

Run!

(Run!)

Pandemonium as citizens race toward the tree with glee

To smash all of the anger they seethe with

Oh but what's this

Next to the tree inside the orchard

It appears to be a time portal

Who's that?

(Who's that?)

I won't lie with my own eye

That appears to be George Washington

The first president of the world

Which includes Hookson

He has an axe and he's joining in

He's cutting down The Father

He's relieving Kandi Korn of his sin

He's turning to the camera now

He wants to tell us something