The Common Cold - The Epidemic

I am a hacking cough That tickle in your throat In an unmade bed in Mexico You will catch my cough, you will catch my cold Hey, hey, no one needs to know Just put it in your mouth No snail trails have blackened It's like it never happened I won't be a henpeck I'll infect it I've done so many bad things I never seem to get clean No pecking order please I've done too many bad things Come get it help yourself Come see it for yourself We're raising glasses high, dirty as all hell In sickness and health, in sickness and health So would you drink after me? I've been a good boy, I'm squeaky clean A pretty please in the motel, the snails without shells In sickness and health, in sickness and health So don't be so alarmed You're being harvested and farmed Every time I continue to breathe You wipe your nose on my sleeve Every time I don't drive off a cliff Every time I don't chop off my lips I've been taken to swallowing pennies For the apocalypse that's surely coming Come get it, help yourself Come see it for yourself We're shaking rubber gloves up to the shelves in hell In sickness and health, in sickness and health So would you sleep where I sleep? In with the bed bugs and bad beliefs I don't mean to make it seem Like we're salmon upstream But are you afraid, are you afraid of me?