Stand in line once a week, and the man gets the dole

Thanks, for nothin'

Can't afford much 'cause I'm on the dole—

Can't afford much 'cause I'm on the dole—

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying

On a Perth bound train, with no valid ticket

I'm broke as a joke with no smokes, I can't kick it

It's my habit, I gotta have a nicotine addiction

Every day's a packet, I'm a rabbit on a mission

To get my fortnightly form in

Me and all the rest of the dole bludgers swarm in on Centrelink

"Did you apply for any jobs?"

Nah mate, I stayed home and played with my knob

But that's not what I really said, of course I lied

And rattled off a list of places that I never applied

Coles? Fuck no, I ain't pushin' a trolley

I handed my resume, that's what I told the wally

I rung up this place and they said they would call back

I didn't even pick up the phone, cunts, I'm too slack

Got outta bed about two o'clock

And sat on my couch and watched the idiot box

My brain's rotten from so much pot 'n piss

Well, thank you Mr. Taxpayer for financing this

Thanks

For nothin'

(Nothing, bastards)

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying

—Degrading this meadow of its natural resources

It's not literature—

We have— shut up, Jan, please, I am—

Yes, look, didn't your mother ever tell you "Never talk with your mouth full?"

Okay?

Stan, Stan, he's our man

I stay home and watch Beauty and the Beast because I can

The Bold and The Beautiful comes on and I'm disgusted

But I sit through it 'cause the remote control is busted

I lusted after Sophie Lee at 4

Man, why isn't she on TV anymore?

A knock at the door and it's a couple of my mates

We all pitch in for the juice of fermented grapes

It's great, all I do is hand in a form

And sit on my couch and watch the internet porn

Maybe, just maybe, I'll get a job one day

With the minimum hours and the maximum pay

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying

Under "special skills" you've got "poet"

How many interviews have you had?

None

But you've put in applications? (Yep)

But you didn't get any interviews? (Nup)

Alright

I can go?

Yeah

Every second Thursday they pay the dole into my bank account

So I go down the teller machine and hope I can remember my PIN number

Is that it?

Poems are about flowers and sunsets and shit like that

You can't have a poem about bein' on the dole

Ah, right, sorry

I lie to the government every two weeks

And hand in my form and beat a hasty retreat

Because the lowest of the low hang out at the dolie

The rough cunts out the front, they're always tryin' to roll me

"Oi mate, ya got some coin for the train?"

Bullshit mate, you want something for your vein

I strain my eyes reading the Yellow Pages to fill out my job diary

It took me fuckin' ages

The stages that I go through are endless, I spend less

So let's not pretend this is fun, even though that it is

Especially when my mates come around and get pissed

This is the life that I choose to lead

A job I don't need? I'd rather smoke weed

And once a fortnight have a real good feed

Am I a dole bludger? Yes indeed

(Yeah, this is Hunter's phone, leave a message)

Yeah Hunter, it's Opt, um, look, its 3:30 in the afternoon, this is the third message I've left, just wake the fuck up

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying

Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time

There's something wrong here, there can be no denying