Everyone Hates His Parents

Just look at me I'm a world class traveler Each Friday night Travel, travel, travel from her house to his house First take the 104 with my computer I'm just a little kid not a commuter And each Sunday night mother comes to get me And I hear them fight Everybody's yelling about the bar mitzvah It's not a wrestling match Why are they sweating? It's not a funeral What's so upsetting? It's a celebration where I get presents But everybody's yelling And everybody's ruining it It's a celebration where I get richer But everybody's yelling And everybody's ruining it Everybody's ruining it Why oh why? What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah? What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah? (What have we done that we'd ruin your bar mitzvah?) I want the Applebaums they're lovely and they like me They're boring, she just likes the way you dress Well, who wouldn't? Have the Applebaums Screw the Applebaums Please don't do this Saul's a jerk Just have them Nix them Long live the Applebaums arguing takes work I hate this Blame her It is all a waste You're gonna blame me? You have paintings of dicks Don't talk to me about taste! Stop! I don't want a bar mitzvah okay? I don't want a bar mitzvah! What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah? What do you mean you don't want a bar mitzvah? How do you think we? How do you think we? How do you think we feel about that? Jason I am agitato grande Jason I am muy disgutante And muy disappointe And muy naseatus And me mitzraim hotzionno dayenu Everyone hates his parents Don't be ashamed You'll grow up You'll come through You'll have kids and they'll hate you too Oh everyone hates his parents But, I confess you grow up You get old, you hate less But I don't want it Nothing that gives them pleasure I'll do I don't want a bar mitzvah Stupid bar mitzvah Any bar mitzvah, would you? Everyone hates his parents That's in the Torah! It's what history shows In fact god said to Moses Moses, everyone hates his parents, that's how it is. And god knew, because god hated his You are gonna kill your mother Don't feel guilty, kill your mother Rather than humiliate her killing your mother is the merciful thing to do Jason, darling, don't get nervous I'm right here, and at your service Look, I'm calm and self deluded Grateful, cause I hope you'll do what I pray you'll do Go ahead and kill your mother Not with guns, but kill your mother Rather than humiliate her Killing your mother is the merciful thing to do Oh my god Everyone hates his parents Now I see why But in time they'll cool out And you'll think they were only fooling It's a strange thing about parents Push turns to shove What was hate becomes, more or less, love Jason, please see a psychiatrist I'm a psychiatrist, get lost! Everyone hates his parents This too shall pass You'll grow up I'll come through I'll have kids And they'll hate you too Oh, everyone hates his parents But, kid, I guess You'll grow up I'll grow up You'll get old I'll get old And hate less Flip me! You got it And hate less