Living the Dream

Well I drink beer and I smoke pot And I've thrown punches in a parking lot I don't dance but damn, the girls still dance with me I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive I'm half in the bed by half past 5 Hell why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream I'm a beer pong champ and a flip cup king Who's no longer welcome at the Dairy Queen No shoes, no shirt, no more dipped cones for me I share wine and wisdom over microwave dinners with the girl I date that I met on Tinder I can't call her love but I can call her anytime I want (that's a booty-call) 'Cause I drink beer and I smoke pot And I've thrown punches in a parking lot I don't dance but damn, the girls still dance with me I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive I'm half in the bed by half past 5 Hell why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream I throw parties on the weekend that are second to none Brought to you in part by my college fund Keg-stands, 40 hands and neighbors call the cops again I only smoke when I drink (yup) but I drink everyday My only worry in the world is getting myself laid It's a damn near miracle I don't already have a kid 'Cause I drink beer and I smoke pot And I've thrown punches in a parking lot I don't dance but damn, the girls still dance with me I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive I'm half in the bed by half past 5 Hell why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream 'Cause I drink beer and I smoke pot And I've thrown punches in a parking lot I don't dance but damn, them girls they still dance with me I've been driven to drink and too drunk to drive I'm half in the bed by half past 5 Now why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream Well why would I sleep at night when I'm living the dream