Kansas City

Everything's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as far as they can go They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high About as high as a building oughta grow Everything's like a dream in Kansas City It's better than a magic lantern show You can turn the radiator on Whenever you want some heat With every kind of comfort Every house is all complete You can walk to privies in the rain And never ever wet your feet! They've gone about as far as they can go They've gone about as far as they can go! Everything's up to date in Kansas City (I just got back myself!) They've gone about as far as they can go! They got a big theater they call a burleque For fifty cents you can see a dandy show One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty As round above as she was round below I could swear that she was padded From her shoulder to her heel But later in the second act When she began to peel She proved that everything she had was absolutely real! Right She went about as far as she could go She went about as far as she could go! We got to Kansas City on a Friday (This is too coincidental) By Saturday we learned a thing or two For up to then we didn't have an idea Of what the modern world was comin' to Everything's up to date in Kansas City They've gone about as far as they can go They went and built a skyscraper one, two, three, four Five, six, seven stories high About as high as a building oughta grow Everything's like a dream in Kansas City (Everything is like a dream) (We got there just last Friday) It's better than a magic lantern show (Gee, I had no idea) You can turn the radiator on Whenever you want some heat With every single modern kind of comfort and convenience Every house is all complete You can walk to privies in the rain And never get your feet wet! They've gone about as far as they can go They've gone about as far as they can go! Where you been? I ain't sayin'! Up till Friday, we didn't have an idea Kansas City's gone about as far as any city oughta go!