All the Girls Love Alice

Raised to be a lady by the golden rule

Alice was the spawn of a public school

With a double barrel name in the back of her brain

And a simple case of "Mummy-doesn't-love-me" blues

Reality, it seems, was just a dream

She couldn't get it on with the boys on the scene

But what do you expect from a chick who's just sixteen?

And hey, hey, hey (Hey, hey, hey)

You know what I mean

All the young girls love Alice

"Tender, young Alice," they say

Come over and see me

Come over and please me

Alice, it's my turn today

All the young girls love Alice

"Tender, young Alice," they say

If I give you my number

Will you promise to call me?

Wait till my husband's away

Poor little darling with a chip out of her heart

It's like acting in a movie when you got the wrong part

Getting your kicks in another girl's bed

And it was only last Tuesday, oh, they found you in the subway dead

And who could you call our friends down in Soho?

One or two middle-aged dykes in a go-go

And what do you expect from a sixteen year old yo-yo?

And hey, hey, hey (Hey, hey, hey)

Oh, don't you know?

All the young girls love Alice

"Tender, young Alice," they'd say

Come over and see me

Come over and please me

Alice, it's my turn today

All the young girls love Alice

"Tender, young Alice," they'd say

If I give you my number

Will you promise to call me?

Wait till my husband's away