Rocket Fuel

In the background My minds been dragged down Antenna's worn Core thoughts hard to track down I've become a sore sport Dwell in dark like Morpork Push away the loving Closer to my nothing Figured what he meant I say, "Fuck it, paint it all black" Tried to help myself But that fucker doesn't call back The deeper that I fall The more I cower and I crawl I hardly feel anymore Guess the meds take their toll I couldn't help myself My hand in the jar Searching for that gold Through a heart full of tar It's always harder at the start 'Til you push your last chance And death holds your arm The ends in clear sight A three-month supply I'd like to quit Not for lack of trying Seeing months fly Faded like a bunged eye Life sucked dry Like I'm sun-dried Never felt so cold in the sunshine The windows to my soul been shut For a long time Picking at the pieces 'til the pieces turn to crumbs My mind's lost hope, at least that's my hunch I couldn't help myself My hand in the jar Searching for that gold Through a heart full of tar It's always harder at the start 'Til you push your last chance And death holds your arm I couldn't help myself My hand in the jar Searching for that gold Through a heart full of tar It's always harder at the start 'Til you push your last chance And death holds your arm Guess he took me for a spin A drive which gave me timing to recite my darkest sins Mask it all with stimuli to hide the dark within Him and I were intertwined, I let the bastard in Hide behind my shaded side Blame it on that part of me Hide behind my faded eyes I blame it on the pharmacy Hide behind my peace of mind I blame it on me partially But I can't be responsible When it's just fucking hard to be Never felt so blind in the sunlight Minds making knots not easily untied Picking at the pieces 'til the pieces turn to crumbs My mind gave in, at least that's my hunch I have no uses Lost the use of both legs Hair full of dead skin Room full of my stench Give me a reason to stay here I'm still on the fence I hardly feel anymore Guess these meds take their toll I couldn't help myself My hand in the jar Searching for that gold Through a heart full of tar It's always harder at the start 'Til you push your last chance And death holds your arm I couldn't help myself My hand in the jar Searching for that gold Through a heart full of tar It's always harder at the start 'Til you push your last chance And death holds your arm