The Sailors in the Gents (Humorous Monologue)

In a gentleman's urinal, on the night before cup final

I saw two sailors standing bold as brass

And their conduct was disgusting 'cause one of them was thrusting

Three fingers up the other fellow's arse

I said "I'm not complaining but would you mind explaining

Why you're performing this disgusting trick?"

And the first tar said "It's easy, this sailor's feeling queasy

I'm his mate, I'm trying to make him sick."

I said "But this is heinous, three fingers up the anus

Will never make him sick, you silly goat."

But he looked rather sly and then gave this reply

He said "They will do when I stick 'em down his throat!"