Latchkey Kid

Havin' deja vu Flashbacks to when I used to play Ja Rule On those long walks on the way to school Had a long talk about breakin' rules That's why I didn't graduate I never had to state my case in front the magistrate Fuck your prom, I ain't have a date I showed up to my classes late No one to blame, but it played a part In slipping grades. But hey, they weren't that great to start Teachers dismayed, they all say I'm smart "If you apply yourself, you could make a mark" They sat me down, said "Let me be clear As long as you do the work for the rest of the year Pass your exam and you're present and here You'll pass the class and graduate with the rest of your peers" I'm not surprised at bein' lied to One credit shy, wouldn't let me slide through Too busy gettin' high, spittin' rhymes hot as Thai food Wanted to have me slingin' fries through the drive-thru No. That was no option though Supposed to be doin' math, had a problem though I woke up and didn't wanna go So we smoked blunts at the old hospital Never studied for a test. So my grades poor Didn't have friends, didn't play sports Hung out at the park, didn't skateboard Locked out of the house in a rainstorm And I ain't have the money for a payphone I got jumped on my way home My brother made them punks say they're sorry But I never got invited to the parties they'd throw The phony never thrive It's fight or flight, the goal is only to survive Bryan died, hope it isn't lonely in the sky That was probably 'round the time I met the homie from the Chi Perfect timin', Ivan with the cornrows Lord knows I was strivin' but the doors closed I don't know about the science or the hormones But I was too shy and quiet to perform shows We stole CDs from Kmart in broad day The cops chased us a long way but we got away He's the one that turned me on to Kanye In the lunch line standing in the hallway "Yo, you hear about this guy who produced for Jigga? Now he's steppin' to the mic and the dude delivers" I scribbled outside the lines when I drew a picture You could try to walk a mile if the shoes would fit ya Had the all white Classics with the 'fit to match But I had to wear the jacket with some different pants Yeah, I got my ass kicked; but I kicked 'em back Want me to bury the hatchet, bring a bigger axe Never studied for a test. So my grades poor Didn't have friends, didn't play sports Hung out at the park, didn't skateboard Locked out of the house in a rainstorm And I ain't have the money for a payphone I got jumped on my way home My brother made them punks say they're sorry But I never got invited to the parties they'd throw Class is in session I fell victim to my tragic perfection I was an outcast, no chance for acceptance I never figured out how to establish connections I had a target on my back as a freshman Picked on by kids who couldn't form an actual sentence Then I was actually friends with The kid who wanted to kick my ass after detention I was never diagnosed with manic depression But I wouldn't be surprised. In fact, I'd expect it I lashed out due to lack of attention I probably could've used a batch of anti-depressants I was an addict obsessed with Rap, never had a backup profession I filled up plastic cassettes with Hours of freestyles, planned on rapid ascension It never happened, now I'm lacking direction At times I wanted to wrap an extension cord Around the back of my neck and attach and suspend it From the rafters as a plan for an exit