Midland Hotel II - The Restaurant

There was this guy, a chef, Stu Brown Worked at the Midland Hotel in town He's worked there so long, no one knew exactly when he'd started Didn't look a day over 40 Chef Stu Brown was from Salford but he wished he wasn't He was obsessed with France and everything French Other chefs at the midlands took the piss They'd say bonjour to him every evening, just so he'd correct them 'You say bonsoir in the evening' He was famous for his French onion soup And for his ill-fitting chef whites He was so thin he was barely there And that French onion soup stayed on the specials board no matter what Other chefs tried rubbing it off But it'd be back the next morning without fail Just like chef Stu Never missed a day of work in his life No one ever saw him arrive, or leave for that matter The cleaners would say they'd see him after hours Floating around, peeling onions He managed to be so present, but he was barely there So present, he was barely there My mate took his mother-in-law to the midland for her 70th Birthday Her names Ann Snow, she's a widow She lost her husband Burt 30 years ago And recently the loneliness had really got to her She was so distant, she was barely there So when my mates' family heard about Chef Stu They booked in first chance they had You see French onion soup used to be Burt's speciality They thought it might bring her back a bit And so on the day, Ann couldn't care less it was her birthday They sat down, ordered for her, French onion soup And just before it arrived Ann's face lit up 'I feel like he's here with us tonight' 'Yeah' my mate replied, 'he's always with us, you know that' And so the soup arrives and she just stares at it 'Well go on... try it' She carefully took a spookful from the bowl and blew And as she sipped at the broth she felt the restaurant disappear And in it's place a long wooden table And in front of her a bowl The good porcelain she hadn't seen in years And there was moonlight peeking in through the blinds Suppertime, and there was Burt by the stove Apron on, saying 'do you want any more love?' And he was so clear, he was really there Burt turned on the radio and 'the blue danube' came floating through 'Oh god' she said 'not again' Burt Snow took his wife's hand and asked her to dance And she tried to resist but she never could And they waltzed, badly, laughing on the lino floor To the sound of BBC Four And they waltzed, badly, laughing on the lino floor To the sound of BBC Four And they waltzed, badly, laughing on the lino floor To the sound of BBC Four And they waltzed, badly, laughing on the lino floor To the sound she hated before After a while, the whole restaurant had stopped eating To watch an elderly woman dancing alone with her eyes closed Humming and giggling to herself My mate didn't have the heart to stop her for dessert Chef Stu Brown disappeared that night Just vanished without a trace, never to return And when the chefs checked the specials board the next morning It was wiped clean