If I Get Old

Well I've been digging through my mind Just trying to find something that I can use to justify Going back to living how I used to think that I'd die, but I Just keep on digging through my mind But you keep telling me I won't You say you wish I knew all of these things that I still don't And sometimes giving up feels like it's getting real damn close But you keep telling me I won't And I fight with myself every day I made a habit out of getting into my own way and I Can feel it killing me real slow And vices feel like a long lost friend 'Til they beat you down all over again and I Know that I'll have to let them go If I get old I've been standing on the edge For so long now it's gotten too damn hard not to pretend That this is just how I am bound to be until it ends So I keep standing on that edge But you keep pulling me right back Further, but not far enough that I'm able to relax And it's hard to see what you have over everything you lack So you keep pulling me right back And I fight with myself every day I made a habit out of getting into my own way I keep picking up more weight than I can hold And I can't see me how she does It's dark in the shadow of who I was But someday those weeds will be overgrown If I get old And I fight with myself every day I made a habit out of hiding from my own damn brain Just feed the flame, pray that it gets cold But I got my woman and I got myself And I know that I don't need nothing else To shed the weight and sift through all the smoke And if I've gone this far and still got by Give me one good reason that I can't still try to Buy back the parts of me I sold And I never thought I'd live to see twenty-five And when there's nothing to lose, there's nothing to mind What scares me most is I'm starting to hope That I'll get old That I'll get old