How to Wash a Check

Alright listen, this mailbox is filled with checks

Which we’re gonna retrieve and wipe clean

Isn’t that check fraud?

I mean, what even is “check fraud?”

It’s the fraudulent use of checks

Merriam Webster over here

Okay, let’s review “How to Wash a Check”

Tie the fish-line

Open the mailbox

Drop the glue-trap

Get a bite

Pull the line up

Take the check out

Make a copy

Do it right

Or nobody gets what they want

Nobody gets what they want

Sing it

Nobody gets what they want

In harmony

Nobody gets what they want

Okay, next steps

Soak the checky

In the solvent

Where’d the ink go?

Outta sight

Dry the check off

Forge the Hancock

“To Seth Weetis”

Wait, what?

Do it right

Did you say Seth Wee—

Or everybody ends up in jail

Oh God

Everybody ends up in jail

Tell me

Everybody ends up in jail

Remind me

Everybody ends up in jail

Good, now you do it

Tie the fish line

Right

Open the mailbox

Good

Now the glue trap

You didn’t peel it

Where’s the fish line?

What are you doing?

The line is tangled

Jesus

These fumes are strong

What is happening?

Who has the glue trap?

I can’t peel it

If you guys cock this up

Nobody gets what they want

Nobody gets what they want

Nobody gets what they want

Can’t I just reach in the mailbox? My arms are pretty skinny

No, just do it like I said

Got the fish line

Got the glue trap

Hand it over

It’s so sticky

I think my arm’s stuck

What?

Inside the mailbox?

Oh shit, his arm’s stuck

Stuck in the mailbox

I said not to do that

Stuck in the mailbox

I’m sorry

Pull it out

I can’t

Try to relax

It’s eating my arm

The glue trap is stuck to my head

How did you—?

The glue trap is stuck to my head

The glue trap is stuck to her head

Of course it is

The mailbox is eating my arm

Kill me

The mailbox is eating

The glue trap is stuck to

Everybody’s going to jail

Everybody’s going to jail, sing it

Everybody’s going to jail

You know what? You’re terrible at this

Maybe I should’ve recruited the Show Choir from West Orange

No, we are better than West Orange

We can do this, you guys! Tenor! Alto! Bass! Watch!

Tie the fish-line

Open the mailbox

Drop the glue-trap

Get a bite

Pull the line up

Take the check out

Make a copy

Do it right

You’re getting my hopes up

Soak the checky, soak the checky, soak the checky

Aloha

In the solvent, in the solvent, in the solvent

Mahalo

Where’d the ink go? Where’d the ink go? Where’d the ink go?

I'm gonna learn to hula on Waikiki Beach

Outta sight, outta sight, outta sight

Dry the check off, dry the check off, dry the check off

Forge the Hancock, forge the Hancock, forge the Hancock

“To Seth Weetis,” “To Seth Weetis,” “To Seth Weetis”

We did it right

I knew you would

Yay!

Then you get the costumes you need

Oh, whoa! We get the costumes we need

Yeah, and Kim gets a family trip

Oh, whoa! Kim gets a family trip

And I get to Waikiki Beach

Oh, whoa! And you get to Waikiki Beach

And Seth gets

Oh, I don’t really need anyth—

Doesn’t matter

Everybody gets what they want, yeah

Everybody gets what they want, yeah

Everybody gets what they want