Employee of the Month

Sigurd Utych

Stole some lanterns

Out the back

Of somebody's car

He tried running from

The Long Arm of the Law

Did not get far

We saw his picture on the TV

He was looking rough as hell

Like he had a friend

That helped him up

Then pushed him

Down a well

They say it's hard

Not ever getting what you want

But at least you got

Employee of the month

Sigurd Utych

Bussed some tables

Busted in a couple older ladies' purses

We saw him haunted

Like a ghost

Escorted by some cops

A couple nurses

It seemed someone stole something from him

At least we think they must've tried it once or twice

Oh, and in exchange for

What she took

She left him sticky fingers

Heart of ice

They say it's hard

Not ever getting what you want

But at least you got

Employee of the month

I saw Sigurd down on Washington Street later

Thought I detected an old fire in his eye

Or maybe just the light

Caught something shiny

In the back of someone's car

As they drove by