The Next Best Thing (feat. Scott Wozniak)

Well it's Christmas man, what do you have planned?

Surely something legal and just

Though you must admit that your gifts lack grit,

Perhaps it's time you should indulge in sings outside of gluttony and lust

(Like greed! Now THATS a sin!)

I know that it's expensive to come up with great gifts

And the hottest games your kids already own

But if you listen to my song the answers been here all along

Perhaps it's time to buy a game that's brewed at home

So maybe...

How 'bout the next best thing?

Like this bootleg GBA game called return of the king?

It might not be Nintendo or Square Enix or Sony

But you have to admit that the names got a ring

(Ring a ding ding it passes the title test!)

Theres super Mario 4 and 14 (yes thats real look it up)

They're just as good as Mario Odyssey

You know your kids will play whatever if it's wrapped up with string

So throw that dirty ROM hack into their stocking

And get the next best thing

I've got Somari and Kirby Red Diamond (ooh!)

Perhaps you'd like Pokemon Chaos Black

Mario Kart Fighter and 7 Grand Dad

No one will know that they're fake, so cut yourself some slack!

You deserve a break, a game is a game,

And try to ignore that built in sense of shame

They can't all be Call of Duty

so squint your eyes, swallow your pride, and don't you dare be snooty!

So how 'bout the next best thing?

Just think of all of the money that you'll save cha-ching!

For why spend $70 on a triple A game,

when you could buy a home made one that has the same name?

(Shop local folks!)

I understand your reservation, getting Crash 2 Advance can sting

But if you give your cash to me I guarantee your kids will see

And though these games might not be great it's way cheaper to emulate!

So trust in Scott and you can't lose, use the savings on some booze

And this Christmas they will dance and sing, for the

Next! Best! Thing!