If My Friends Could See Me Now

The girls at the ballroom would never believe me in a million years! If they could see me now

That little gang of mine

I'm eatin' fancy chow and drinkin' fancy wine

I'd like those stumble bums

To see for a fact

The kind of top-drawer, first-rate chums I attract

All I can say is "Wow-ee!"

Look-a where I am

Tonight I landed, POW!

Right in a pot of jam

What a setup, holy cow!

They'd never believe it

If my friends could see me now!

They'd never believe it! They'd never believe it!

If they could see me now

My little dusty group

Traipsin' round this million dollar chicken coop

I'd hear those thrift shop cats say, "Brother get her!

Laid on a bedspread made from three kinds of fur!"

All I can say is "Wow!"

Wait till the riff and raff

See just exactly how

He signed his autograph

What a build up, holy cow!

They'd never believe it

If my friends could see me now!

If they could see me now

Alone with Mr. V

Who's waitin' on me like he was a maitre'd

I hear my buddies sayin', "Crazy, what gives?

Tonight she's living like the other half lives!"

To think the highest brow

Which I must say is he

Should pick the lowest brow

Which there's no doubt is me

What a step up, holy cow!

They'd never believe it!

They'd never believe it!

If my friends could see me now!

Hi girls, it's me! Charity!