All I Ever Am

I think too much of all that's gone, of how it was before my thoughts

Obsessed with choices made for sure, in ignorance of history and consequence

As more and more, I misremember hopelessly

The way love turned out every time was never quite enough

I lose all my life like this, reflecting time and memories

And all for fear of what I'll find if I just stop and empty out my mind

Of all the ghosts and all the dreams, all I hold to in belief

That all I ever am is somehow never quite all I am now

I think too much of all to come, of how it will be after I give up

My weary dance with age and resignation moves me slow

Toward a dark and empty stage, where I can sing of all I know

The way love turns out every time will never be enough

I waste all my world like this, intending time and memories

And all for fear of what I'll find if I just stop and empty out my mind

Of all the ghosts and all the dreams, all I hold to in belief

That all I ever am is somehow never quite all I am now

And all for fear of what I'll find if I just stop