The Giantess

There’s a giantess in Boston

She stands about 6 foot 2

She hears little people talking

That’s what little people do

You’re sad because you’re lonely

You’re lonely cuz you’re fat

You’re fat because you’re lazy

You’re lazy cuz you’re sad

If she weren’t so calm and centered

With a warmup and a stretch

She’d track down her tormenters

And beat them all to death

Throw cowboys from their horses

Smash limousines like tin

Knock satellites from orbit

Alter planetary spin

But the doctors on his iPad

Shopping for his lunch

He greets that awful chaos

With a disappointed shrug

He says, you’re sad because your lonely

You’re lonely because you’re fat

You’re fat because you’re lazy

You’re lazy because you’re sad