£24.99 from Argos

I do nothing at all and let my legs go fizzy

I don’t do any good turns, I might go dizzy

I’m a jet-foil skipper with a nautical growl

Reprimanding on-tour drum technicians

We stand round in bus queues and die in midweek

And even on clear days I can’t see the point

But I wake up in places where jugglers have mates

And Sylvian and Fripp discuss whippets

Pumped full of smack and with more to inject

Come up and meet the new genius elect

Who’s slumped in the corner for maximum effect

Girl, he should spend a week being a Nordic ski widow