Nobody Ever Gets Killed in Our House

Nobody ever gets killed in our house Nobody ever gets maimed No glorious fights on the court or the ice Where the grown-up boys play at their big money games No one gets shot at, run over, or stabbed Nobody goes up in flames And the army recruiters, they never pass through here You must wonder how we stay sane Joanne and Jamie curled up with their books I'm strumming an old song or new It may come as a shock, but some nights we just talk It's amazing the depths that you can sink to We might watch the fire, we might watch the baby We might watch the stars passing through Ah, but nobody ever gets killed in our house Take care, it could happen to you No bathing suit beauties parade through our house Nobody's having affairs Nobody wiggles or giggles or jiggles in cute little outfits And platinum hair We miss all the gay and risqué little jokes From Johnny and Joly, and Bob And out of sheer malice, we've never watched Dallas I guess you could say we've been robbed We might watch the fire, we might watch the baby We might watch the stars passing through Ah, but nobody ever gets killed in our house Take care, lest it happen to you Ronald McDonald won't come to our house Barbie and Ken stay away No precocious teens sell us Calvin Klein jeans Or feminine hygiene deodorant spray Imagine a childhood without G.I Joe Of all TV's wisdom deprived In ignorance squalor with rings 'round our collars We live out our meaningless lives Joanne and Jamie curled up with their books I'm still strumming an old song or two It may come as a shock, but some nights we just talk It's amazing the depths that you can sink to We might watch the fire, we might watch the baby We might watch the stars passing through Ah, but nobody ever gets killed in our house Take care, this could happen to you