Pretty Good WiFi

You used to love me for the enemies I made

Now you just judge me by the bills that I paid

When I see someone on the street with legs for days

I need to stop and realize, aw shit, the male gaze

I missed my chance to make a gold nightstand

What's it take to feel like a grown ass man?

Come back from Daytona with nothing but a spray tan

Arrive home and eat that devil's food, seitan

Leave me alone, I got a Côtes du Rhône

And a cellular phone

And some pretty good wifi, yeah

Leave me alone, I got a Côtes du Rhône

And a cellular phone

And some pretty good wifi, yeah

Once I flew around and pissed off the saint

Wasn't clear what I wanted but she taught me I ain't

Strong enough to keep going so hard in the paint

So I sat down, got drunk, and compared target weights

Took the escalator up the Tower of Babel

Eatin' stale dunkaroos and drinkin' half-and-half Snapple

Thinkin' bout my darker days when I've been known to dabble

I'm feelin' like a tiny ass worm in this big fuckin' apple

Leave me alone, I got a Côtes du Rhône

And a cellular phone

And some pretty good wifi, now

Leave me alone, I got a Côtes du Rhône

And a cellular phone

And some pretty good wifi, yeah

If I never had it, can I really rediscover?

While I spend a hundred dollars an hour on some vague acupuncture

Pass the salt, but go easy on the butter

Cause i cry like my dad but i whisk like my mother, uhh

It's getting harder and harder to keep it tight

It takes all my energy just to put up a fight

And more and more I feel like some kitties had it right

I'm gonna die, but it's not gonna be tonight

Leave me alone, I got a Côtes du Rhône

And a cellular phone

And some pretty good wifi, yeah

Leave me alone, I got a Côtes du Rhône

And a cellular phone

And some pretty good wifi, now

I'm gonna die, but it's not gonna be tonight

I'm gonna die, but it's not gonna be tonight