All About That Bass Parody

Because this song's all about being big Suck a dick Thin people If you are super thin Super thin You're evil This catchy tune's message should have been "We're equal" But it shames thin women, thin women-men-men-men-men Yeah it's kind of clear I like to eat food But I can write big hit songs And I can sing 'em too I see these skinny girls that get super famous So I say "Hey why not Meghan Trainor?" I talk like I am black (uh-huh) Even though I am white (uh-huh) I lived in the Suburbs, I've had a perfect life Still there's one thing bugs me (uh-huh) I don't know why But when I see good looking skinny people I think they should die Yeah, my mama she told me "Don't worry about your size" (Ooh, up-up) (Uh-ooh, up-up) But when I see thin women I want to gouge out their eyes (Gouge out their eyeballs) (Gouge out their eyeballs) When I hear Gwyneth Paltrow say "Oh my God I feel so fat" (Ooh, up-up) (Uh-ooh, up-up) I want to beat in her pretty face with a baseball bat Woah! Now all five of us will do this dumb dance, this dumb dance We're dancing These girls need haircuts bad, really bad We can't see Meghan give me a chance Just one chance, to rest please! I hired you to dance Damn it dance! I'm bringin' booty back Booty never left that statement is trash! Wow, I'm just playing Don't hate me cause I'm fat! You're actually normal Every inch of you is perfect Stop acting like a victim! Yeah my mama she told me that "Being big is sexy" (Ooh, up-up) (Uh-ooh, up-up) And that it turns on men which totally validates me! (Makes me feel pretty) (Makes me feel pretty) I thought this song was supposed to be 'bout loving you for you (Ooh, up-up) It is (Uh-ooh, up-up) Then why are you basing yourself worth off of pleasing dudes? Now let me reiterate it again If you're thin, you're a bitch That's totally not true and completely mindless I'm actually on my way to help the homeless Nice try but that can't be you're skinny Meghan your single "All About That Bass" is a hit! It's platinum! It's time to lose some weight for your next pop anthem But I'm about that bass and that means I'm curvy That's why everyone like bout this song Now Meghan do you wanna be a star Or a one-hit wonder? If you don't lose some weight That would be a blunder To help you get in shape We've brought in a trainer It's time to get you ripped! Let's do this!