Masterpiece

Somewhere in the middle of the seventh grade I realized that everyone my age was an asshole, yeah, yeah, yeah From there everything began to escalate It's much more fun to climb a gate than a flagpole Yeah, yeah, yeah I was the long-lost kid in the middle of the long-lost American Dream So I picked up my paintbrush and started on my masterpiece I had no money but I had the time Got some sticky little fingers, the world was mine in my klepto phase I stole my way across the deep blue sea I went looking for my dignity, stamp my passport If you please Yeah, I was a teenage troublemaker On the run from the mall police Yeah, but trouble's an important chapter in my masterpiece He was wearing eyeliner, had a funny name And he told me that his daddy was an attaché And he made me a woman in the middle of the ocean When I touched down in Montreal I saw my future, yes, I saw it all Singing, yes, I can, can, yes, I can, can Yes, ma'am I had a brand-new head on my shoulders And a nice little pair of titties I said goodbye to the virgin, and hello to my masterpiece Masterpiece Masterpiece Masterpiece Masterpiece Embroider all my vices Catharsis and crisis into one incorrigible pendulum For the sake of the story, I'ma skip ahead As the part about the Grateful Dead Straight to Booker-T, and don't forget the MG's I danced holes through my wooly socks I felt a funny little tickle 'cause I had pop rocks in my pussy Uh-uh-uh-huh I was the long-lost daughter of disco Dancing through my jock-strap dreams In my funky little fiat, chasing down my masterpiece Yeah, yeah, yeah Every Major Tom, Harry Dick and friendly ghost Helped me stir the madness of my holy woes like sugar in my teacup Yeah, yeah, yeah Now I don't shoplift, and I don't blackout I have a handle and I have a spout I'm a grownup, yeah, yeah, yeah But I still get that feeling when I drive by my school How them goddamn kids could be so goddamn cruel But I'm still painting, and fucking, and climbing trees And dancing with my darling devils and beasts And every single ugly little part of me Is just a color in the palette of my ever-lovin' never-done-in' vagabond Masterpiece