Don't Touch My Clogs

Years before I was born, father told this to me It was one Christmas morning in '73 There was one lonely gift nestled under the tree My grandfather said, "Don't touch my–" He said, "Boy, listen close, I am saying this once "These were worn by my parents and their parent's parents "Now they're yours but be sure to guard them with your life" He said, "Don't ever let them touch my clogs" You can take my cash You can burn my house You can force-feed trash I'd let you kick my balls while I chewed on glass Before I even thought about letting someone touch my clogs You'll have to take my life You'll have to steal my dog You'll have to beat my wife You'll have to kill my mom with a rusty knife You'll have to break my legs before I ever let you touch my clogs Don't touch my C-L-O-G-S They're my clogs, uh Father said, "You're my son, so I'll tell you the truth I wore clogs without socks for the bulk of my youth Now these clogs, they are yours, protect them with your life I pray you never let them touch your clogs" You can slap my wrist I'd let you shave my head Let you wax my pits I'd even butt-chug bleach while you twist my nips And after all of that, I still wouldn't let you touch my clogs You can eat my lunch And you can knock me out with a one-inch punch And make me drink your sweat from a dirty sponge You'd have to shoot me dead before I ever let you touch my clogs It's my purpose in life to keep them safe until my child is at least 25 Then I will pass the clogs to them and they'll wear them with pride And every single day from then They'll make sure no one has touched their clogs They're the one thing I love The only thing that makes me sure there's a god up above Those wooden clogs on my feet, and they fit like a glove And I would give up everything 'fore I ever let you touch my Clogs, C-L-O-G-S Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my clogs to keep If I should die before I wake I pray the Lord my clogs to take You can take my cash (clogs) You could force-feed trash I'd let you kick my balls while I chewed on glass Before I even thought about letting someone touch my clogs You'll have to take my life You'll have to steal my dog Have to beat my wife You'll have to kill my mom with a rusty knife You'll have to break my legs before I ever let you touch my–