Bang! (From "a Little Night Music")

Bang! The war commences The enemy awaits in quivering expectancy The poor defenses, the penetrable gates How terrible to be a woman The time is here The game is there The smell of fear Like a musk pervades the air The bugle sounding The pistol's steady The blood is pounding, ah Take aim and ready, ah Bang! 20 minutes small talk 30 at the most Bang! Two or three to pour the schnapps Bang! Bang! Bang! Half a minute to propose the necessary toast Bang! The tunic opens, bang! The trousers fall Bang! The foe is helpless back against the wall Bang! An hour and a quarter over all And bang! (20 minutes to arrange these bloody awful flowers) Bang! (Can I get away with more?) Bang! Bang! Bang! (Then I have to brush my hair and that could take me hours) Bang! (A fit of vapors) bang! (No, that's too quaint) Bang! (A wracking cough and then a graceful faint) Bang! (A lengthy lecture) bang! (On self-restraint) Bang! Bang! (Bang! Bang!) (Bang! Bang!) The battle rages (Bang!) Whatever ground I gain I fortify remorselessly (Bang! Bang!) The foe engages (Bang!) By shifting the terrain How pitiful to be a woman (Bang!) Attack (Bang!) Retreat (Bang!) Lay back (Bang!) Reform (Bang! Bang!) Outflank (Bang!) Deplete (Bang!) Move up and then restore (Bang! Bang!) The siege succeeding (Bang!) The time grows shorter (Bang!) She lies there pleading (Bang!) I give no quarter (Bang!) Bang! A fire at the elbow Salvo at the knee (Bang!) Bang! Fuselage at breast and thigh (Bang! Bang! Bang!) Bang! Bang! Bang! Then when she's exhausted Bang! A fresh sortie (Bang!) I taste the conquest (Bang!) The taste is sweet (Bang! Bang!) She lays her arms down Welcoming defeat (Bang! Bang!) Both sides content (Bang!) Secure (Bang!) Positions (Bang! Bang! Bang!) All passion spent (Bang!) Discuss (Bang!) Conditions How terrible (Bang!) How pitiful (Bang!) How glorious to be a woman (He is a peacock) (I keep forgetting) The quarry senses A momentary pang (It's all so foolish) (Why am I sweating?) The war commences Bang!