Felicia No Capicia

I took Felicia to Las Vegas, here's my story

She spent the weekend eatin' chicken cacciatore

But when I said, "I'd like to kiss ya"

Felicia no capicia

The way she gambled at the tables wasn't funny

You should've seen the way she found to lose my money

But when I said, "I'd like to kiss ya"

Felicia no capicia

She understood (She understood)

She heard me good (She heard me good)

When I said, "Have some real imported cheese"

But, when I said (But, when I said)

"Give me a squeeze" ("Give me a squeeze")

You'd think that I was talkin' Japanese

She never heard about the birds and bees

While she was half Abruzzese and half Calabrese

You oughta see the things I bought her

I took her out and spent my money just like water

But when I said, "I'd like to kiss ya"

Felicia no capicia

(No, she didn't understand)

(No, she didn't understand)

She heard me fine (She heard me fine)

When I said, "Dine" (When I said, "Dine")

Then she drank half a case of wine

But, when I said (But, when I said)

"Come on, let's spoon" ("Come on, let's spoon")

You'd think that I was askin' for the moon

That chick was really as crazy as a loon

She was half Siciliano and what a baboon

I tried to make her feel relaxed

It cost me ninety-seven dollars for the taxi

But when I said, "I'd like to kiss ya"

Felicia no capicia

She said, "Luigi, let's get married"

And Luigi no capisce