Two for the Price of One

He had what you might call a trivial occupation He cleaned the platforms of the local railway station With no romance in his life Sometimes he wished he had a wife He read the matrimonial advertising pages The cries for help from different people, different ages But they had nothing to say At least not until the day When something special he read This is what it said If you dream of the girl for you Then call us and get two for the price of one We're the answer if you feel blue So call us and get two for the price of one If you dream of the girl for you Then call us and get two for the price of one We're the answer if you feel blue So call us and get two for the price of one He called the number and a voice said, "Alice Whiting" The voice was husky and it sounded quite exciting He was amazed at his luck The purest streak of gold he'd struck He said, "I read your ad, it sounded rather thrilling I think a meeting could be mutually fulfilling Why don't we meet for a chat? The three of us in my flat I can't forget what I read" This is what it said If you dream of the girl for you Then call us and get two for the price of one We're the answer if you feel blue So call us and get two for the price of one If you dream of the girl for you Then call us and get two for the price of one We're the answer if you feel blue So call us and get two (For the price of one...) He said, "I'm sure we must be perfect for each other And if you doubt it you'll be certain when you meet my mother"