Church Boy

I'm a polite little church boy In my turtle neck and my corduroys Bright red hair burning in the sun I only feel tall when all the adults are sitting down Drunk on caffeine But the strangest thing They keep whispering I have yet to find a mitten that fits But I'll be damned if I fail I'd be at home on a sitcom I could disappear til my show was on A big dumb joke feeding on applause I only feel high when I can feel you in my palm A shot of self-esteem But the strangest thing You keep whispering I have yet to find a mitten that fits But I'll be damned if I fail I stole a factory-folded golden polo Bought a bottle of bronzer But not the aloe No shit, I'll avoid the sun if I can help it I dug a tunnel to God but gave up halfway Got a mouthful of worms But kept my stomach empty No shit, I will curse and spit if I can help it But the strangest thing I keep whispering I have yet to find a mitten that fits But I'll be damned if I fail