It's Ok I Wouldn't Remember Me Either

I don't want to be awake again I spend my days with my head in my hands If I go outside, I'll fall apart I am mostly scared by passing time The world, it seems, gets more unkind Inevitable tragedies will soon be mine I am looking for an easy place To mask my thoughts behind my face Oh, brown-baked column of victory Maybe I should just pack up and run away again Let you forget that you were once my friend Then watch another, go on and do better without me But I could not go away, not if I wanted to I can hide from friends but I cannot hide from you These chemical reactions are dividing me Self-deprecating thoughts interrupting all the time Emphasising all the traits that I wish weren't mine They speak louder than everybody Try to keep my eyes closed as my outlook isn't bright Compulsively complaining when I haven't got the right I hate the way that I think and act I want to end reality but I feel hesitant Optimistic that the future will be more concerned than the present And so for today, I'll remain intact I don't want to be awake again I spend my days with my head in my hands If I go outside, I'll fall apart