Deadlocked

"Why the hell are you standing there With blank wet eyes and no sound to share?", you say "I'm fine", a voice replies But that's not me, you know I lie It feels like a spell that is haunting me An addiction, obsession that holds my hand It makes me board the boat of the ferryman And he drags me to the hell inside my head And there I created a confessional To hide my thoughts so far from myself And row after row I understand It's me that guide this boat to the end I knew a man whose life was great and everyday he lived was a sunny day And when there were no snags on the road He felt it so comfortable to go right straight to the goal But when things go wrong even the strongest can fall And when you're down on the ground life starts its showdown So welcome to kingdom of the ones that refuse to go down And only if you bleed you can aim for the crown Lost round after round, with my face on the ground But now the numbness makes me indifferent Don't you believe I'm anesthetized? When I cry it's only the allergy to the world outside And maybe I like to be hurt I'm not insane I'm just so scared, I deadlocked myself And chose to wear chains If it can keep me safe from the life out there Yeah, I swear it's a burden I can bear A burden I can bear I made my world turn into grey, now the sea is flat, the sun is pale And I seem to love my condition And you see surprise in my eyes when you find tears on my pillow "No they're not mine", I keep growling But you know that I'm stubborn and I'm a lying man This is the same old tale, over and over again Lost round after round, with my face on the ground But now the numbness makes me indifferent Don't you believe I'm anesthetized? When I cry it's only the allergy to the world outside Lost round after round, with my face on the ground But now the numbness makes me indifferent Don't you believe I'm anesthetized? When I cry it's only the allergy to the world outside And maybe I like to be hurt I'm not insane I'm just so scared, I deadlocked myself And chose to wear chains If it can keep me safe from the life out there Yeah, I swear it's a burden I can bear A burden I can bear Here I stay, my place forsaken So close and yet so far away Here I pray for you to find me Beyond the haze, the way to bring me back to life And maybe I like to be hurt I'm not insane I'm just so scared, I deadlocked myself And chose to wear chains If it can keep me safe from the life out there Yeah, I swear it's a burden I can bear A burden I can bear