Marigold

Sitting in the bleachers Waiting for my time Crushes on all the student teachers Searching for that perfect line I always wanted just to fit in but couldn't sit in The role of what a woman should be And when the girls came around in jerseys Hard to play down I was weak in the knees Remember how I felt back then Scared to tell any of my friends Was it contextual? Or am I bisexual? Standing on a church pew Screaming out to something Never wanted to hurt you And I can't say all that shit meant nothing I always knew I couldn't live up, needed to give up What they said I was called to be And when you asked me to choose between God and you, it's true I chose myself and me Remember how I felt back then Sometimes I still feel it again I don't really mind it Still trying to find it Used to lean on it like a crutch Now I know I don't know that much I might be unsteady But maybe I'm ready Maybe I'm ready