Misplaced Faith

When I was five years old and I was scared to sleep alone on darker nights I thought the monsters would all try to eat me if they saw my open eyes My mother taught me praying to my Maker would send angels to my aid As a child I learned that messages to Heaven were the way to keep me safe Throw me in the waves Throw me in the ocean, I've been hopeless in this boat with all my shame Throw me in the waves And if I'm swallowed by a monster, I know God's here and I'll make it out okay And everything was wonderful and marvelous with God paving the way I pushed myself to follow every message and commandment that He gave And no one seemed to notice as my mental health slowly withered away 'Cause if you feel like you are trapped inside yourself it has to be a test of faith So throw me in the waves Throw me in the ocean, I've been hopeless in this boat with all my shame Throw me in the waves And if I'm swallowed by a monster, I know God's here and I'll make it out okay I'm 22 years old, and I'm still scared to sleep alone on darker nights 'Cause when I needed God the most, He left me out for dead, He left my side Maybe He's just a thing our parents made because it helps them to feel safe But if He's real, one day I'll get to meet Him and I know just what I'll say Throw me in the waves I was swallowed by the monster and you disappeared, you don't deserve your place So throw me in the waves And I'd rather drown and die than have to spend all of my life with misplaced faith