Loose Contacts

another message in a van

saying that I'm wishing you all the best

I can't be there, maybe next year

hoping by the time you'll forget

I don't even think about excuses no more

I'm taking one for the team

like we've all done before

how many times until you regard me

as the one that's late to the party?

it is hard to justify missing out on your grandmother's 80th birthday.

sorry that I spent my time

chasing ghosts I'm never gonna find

all these loose contacts

seem to be the heaviest.

I think I'm the asshole in this game

forgot you while I pleased everyone else

all these loose contacts

choke me like a noose around my neck

everybody knows the feeling

when the dopamine is kicking

how much pace am I allowed to waste

to still gather momentum?

my friends forget to dream these days

and I still follow a phantom

everyone around me is heavy at heart

but striking roots without making intentions to start

how many times until you regard me

as the one that's late to the party?