One-Way Road

The trains aren't runnin'

The cabs aren't comin'

But I am going to the Plaza Hotel

One mile down, and seven to go

Seven to go

He needs to know

Though I'm not showing, a baby's growing

And I am going to the Plaza Hotel

One mile down, and seven to go

Seven to go

Watch the road, asshole!

Who are you callin' crazy?

I will kick his little Daisy and I'll stick it to her that he's mine

And this baby here is genuine

Once he knows, he'll kick her out the door

We'll open up a bottle, hell, we'll open two

He'll propose, I'll smile and say, "Sure!"

And presto, poof, my dreams have all come true

I will be a rich man's wife

With a rich man's baby and be set for life

A debutante, a connoisseur

Wait, what if I turn into her?

When the new shiny thing becomes

The one who wears the ring

I am guessing I'll have two good years

Before another shiny thing appears

One-way road

Is that what this is?

Have I traveled on it from a very early age?

One-way road

Where the choices are his

And it dead-ends in a cage

Tom may not be loyal, but with him I'm royalty

Do I let him break my heart and nose to gain security?

No dress, no ring

No party, no baby

Will ever set me free

The trains aren't runnin'

The cabs aren't comin'

And I'm not going to the Plaza Hotel

Turn around, go back to George

Back to George, back to home

He'll love this baby as his own

And soon we three will be a million miles away

I know that George will love me come what may

God, it's so simple that it's funny

The only choice is love or money

A one-way road

No matter what