If It Doesn't Snow On Christmas

Santa works all day in his workshop Makin' a lotta games and toys Then one day he hops in his sleigh To bring them to the girls and boys Santa's just as nice as he could be There's just one fucking thing that worries me If it doesn't snow on Christmas How's fatass gonna use that sleigh? In case of rain, would there be a train That'll speed him on his way? If it doesn't snow this Christmas How's fatass get around to us? Say he breaks down on his way to town Would they let him use a bus? I sent him a nice long letter And I hope it's not in vain I really would feel much better If the fat fuck flew a plane Now they say he's got eight reindeer For the sleigh he's drivin' here But how the fuck's he go If it doesn't snow on Christmas this year? Take it, boys, ah, that's so pretty Wonderful, mo'fucking wonderful I sent him a nice long letter And I hope it's not in vain I really would feel much better If the fat fuck flew a plane Now they say he's got eight reindeer For the sleigh he's drivin' here But how the fuck's he go If it doesn't snow on Christmas this year? Alright! I got a treat for ya! Listen to these kids! Are they great? Beautiful, beautiful! Are these kids great, or what? Ah, they're wonderful, wonderful ...for the sleigh he's driving here How will fatso- Ah, ah! Watch your mouths, your mothers might be listenin' now, that's very sweet Terrific, kids, terrific! You're just great, everybody come over here! Ya did a great job and I got candy for everybody! (Yay!) Alright! Alright! Which one of you little pricks stole all the fuckin' candy canes? Ah, nice, nice kids Where'd ya get 'em, from a fuckin' jail? Fuckin' reform school brats! Get the fuck outta here, all of ya (Awww!) "It was Stewart! I saw! You took the candy!" "I didn't do nothin'!" "Yes, you did!"