Retrospect For Life

We gotta start respecting life more, y'all

You look at your brother, man, you gotta see yourself

Gotta see the god within him

We brothers getting changed real quick over nothing

We losing too many of ours

Gotta recreate, y'all

Yo, check it

Knowing you the best part of life, do I have the right to take yours?

'Cause I created you irresponsibly

Subconsciously knowing the act I was a part of

The start of something I'm not ready to bring into the world

Had myself believing I was sterile

I look into mother's stomach and wonder if you are a boy or a girl

Turning this woman's womb into a tomb

But she and I agree, a seed we don't need

You would've been much more than a mouth to feed

But someone, I would have fed this information I read

To someone, my life, for you I would have had to leave

Instead I led you to death

I'm sorry for taking your first breath, first step, and first cry

But I wasn't prepared mentally nor financially

Having a child shouldn't have to bring out the man in me

Plus, I wanted you to be raised within a family

I don't wanna go through the drama of having a baby's mama

Weekend visits and buying Js ain't gon' make me a father

For a while, bearing a child is something I never wanted to do

For me to live forever, I can only do that through you

Nerve, I got to talk about them **** with a gun

Must have really thought I was God to take the life of my son

I could've sacrificed going out

To think my homies who did it, I used to joke about

From now on, I'ma use self-control instead of birth control

'Cause 315 dollars ain't worth your soul

315 dollars ain't worth your soul

315 dollars ain't worth it

I never dreamed you'd leave in summer

You said you would be here when it rained

Yo

Why didn't you stay?

Seeing you as a present and a gift in itself

You had our child in you, I'll probably never feel what you felt

But, you dealt with it like the strong black woman you are

Through our trials and tribulations, child's elimination

An integration of thoughts I feel about the situation

Back and forth, my feelings was pacing

Happy deep down, but not joyed enough to have it

But even that's a lie, in less than two weeks we was back at it

Is this unprotected love or safe to say it's lust?

Busting more than the sweat in somebody you trust

Or is it that we don't trust each other enough?

And believe having this child'll make us have to stay together

Girl, I want you in my life 'cause you have made it better

Thinking we all in love 'cause we can spend the day together

We talking spending the rest of our lives

There's too many black women that can say they mothers

But can't say that they wives

I wouldn't choose any other mother my understanding

But I want our parenthood to come from planning

It's so much in my life that's undone

We gotta see eye to eye about family, before we can become one

If you had decided to have it, the situation I wouldn't run from

But I'm walking, finding myself and my God

So I can discipline my son with my writing

Not have a judge telling me how to raise my seed

Though his death was at our greed with no one else to blame

I had a book of African names in case our minds changed

You say your period hasn't came and lately I've been sleepy

So quit smoking the weed and the beadies and let's have this boy

I never dreamed you'd leave in summer

You said you would be here when it rained

(You say you would be here when it rained)

Oh, I never dreamed you'd leave in summer

Now the situation's made things change

Why didn't you stay?

(Why didn't you stay?)

I never dreamed you'd leave in summer

(In summer)

You said you would be here when it rained

(It rained, it rained)

Oh, I never dreamed you'd leave in summer

(You said you wouldn't leave)

Now, the situation's made things change

(Things changed)

Why didn't you stay?

Stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay

Stay

Why didn't you stay?

Hello, you've reached the hotel message center

You have one new message

The message is

Yo Soren, this is me, man

Um, I caught the dag a little earlier this evening

You know, we had good conversation

And uh, I guess it's saving my mind, man

Like uh, in terms of, uh, later

Now what you're doing right now, but from way later

You know, and uh, all the things we've been talking about

From 1529 on up

Then I'm just laying here, man, and, and, and I

I've got this impulse that I wanna set up boxing match

Or a challenge match

'Cause I got a feeling I wanna kick Jesse Jackson's ass, man

And uh, we need talk about it

'Cause I wanna get him in front of a ring, in front of everybody

I just wanna beat the shit outta him

You know, but you know, I know pops is crazy

But get back with me