Jim and Jack and Hank

There you were standin'

By the screen door slammin'

Rather clear what's taking place

You were holding onto Louie

He was packing, he was heavy

That plastic handle just about to break

Well, then you picked up Chloe

She knew y'all were going

She started barking like a tank

I was shocked and I was joking

But I will not be lonely

'Cause I got Jim and Jack and Hank

Take your string bikinis

Your apple martinis

Take what's left there in the bank

Take your flat iron and your curlers

Your sparkling water

And that damn perfume I never liked

Take your black Mercedes

All that stuff for ladies

To me you're just a total blank

Go on and leave me baby

I don't need you, I got

Jim and Jack and Hank

Well, now you left screaming

And your tires screeching

That little dog right in your lap

I became a little sad

And called up my old dad, he said

Son, you just woke me from my nap

I told him you had left me, he said

Son, now don't you hate me

You know exactly what I think

You know you're better off

You can fish and you can golf

You still got Jim and Jack and Hank

Take your string bikinis

Your apple martinis

Take what's left there in the bank

Take your flat iron and your curlers

Your sparkling water

And that damn perfume I never liked

Take your black Mercedes

All that stuff for ladies

To me you're just a total blank

Go on and leave me baby

I don't need you, I got

Jim and Jack and Hank

That's right!

So I got out the whiskey

And I began to listen to the songs

Out in my truck you couldn't crank

I started feeling empty

Then again it hit me

I've got Jim and Jack and Hank

Take your string bikinis

Your apple martinis

Take what's left there in the bank

Take your flat iron and your curlers

Your sparkling water

And that damn perfume I never liked

Take your black Mercedes

All that stuff for ladies

To me you're just a total blank

Go on and leave me baby

I don't need you, I got

Jim and Jack and Hank

Yeah, now, go on and leave me

Baby, I don't need you

I got Jim and Jack and Hank

That's right, you go ahead

I'll be a-okay, cause I got Jose

Captain Morgan

Not to mention call old George

And Tammy and Loretta, Merle

Willie Nelson, Big John Cash

How about old Jimmy Buffett?

Bring him in there

When that sun's shining

George Strait, an old friend

Can't forget Hank Jr

And all his rowdy friends

I'm gonna clean out the whole closet

Baby, ah, yeah, goodbye