Lawn Full of Marigolds

I moved myself west to find a philosophy, To learn my geography at best. Where the mountains are cold, The rain drops it's tears, I'm told. Amongst the ashes a heart of gold, they say. I guess it's best to imagine it that way. So I bought me a book to teach me the ways of god, To open my tarnished heart from it. Started praisin' the lord & talkin' in tongues & code; I did repairs on that broken road back home. I guess it's better than being alone. And now to death: I'm dying. To love: I'm trying. To god: I'm lying again. And to my ma: I've failed you. To my pa: I blamed you. And to god: I have shamed you again. So I moved myself out, I pictured a better home- A lawn full of marigolds, I guess. I headed back east, started thinking my hope away, Depression was the one to stay since then. Now, I take pills to push it from my head. Yes, I take pills to push it from my head. And now to death: I'm dying. To love: I'm trying. To god: I'm lying again. And to my ma: I've failed you. To my pa: I blamed you. And to god: I have shamed you again. To god: I have shamed you again. To god: I have shamed you again. Again.