My Wife Can't Cook

If it wasn't for the beans That come out the can Or the peas and beets To ripen The milk and bread At the grocery store I couldn't eat no more Let me tell my wife (His wife, she can't cook) Lord, if I thought she could read I would buy her a book But all she knows how to do Is fuss and holler She don't even know How to boil water Let me tell ya what we had last night On the dinner table A tomato The nastiest stuff you ever wanna see And she was tryin' to feed it to me Let me tell ya I think that woman is downright 'Cause here the sister With coldcuts and gravy Now coldcuts and gravy in a I thought I'd choke but I got through Well she said (Spit it out, spit it out) What you say? woo hoo Oh but I guess I'm gonna eat this slop Any old way So don't you get me wrong I love that girl I guess I'm about craziest old man in the world But I got to love her 'Cause I got no friends Aww, here she comes With red beans and onions again And she say... What you say? Ohh, woo hoo One two three four Five six seven eight Nine eight seven six Five four three two One more time, come on Early in the mornin' Woah, hoo (His wife, she can't cook) Cook them beans, cook 'em clean Put 'em in a pot and let 'em stink, come on (His wife, she can't cook) What you say? Woahh, wooo Come to the doctor You wonder why I just ate them beans And I'm about to die, come on Hey baby (His wife, she can't cook) Ohhh, wooo hoo (His wife, she can't cook) Aww, just a little bit louder, come on