album cover
Tingling
101
Standup Comedy
Tingling was released on September 3, 2013 by Comedy Dynamics, A Nacelle Company as a part of the album War Paint
album cover
Release DateSeptember 3, 2013
LabelComedy Dynamics, A Nacelle Company
LanguageEnglish
Melodicness
Acousticness
Valence
Danceability
Energy

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS
Iliza Shlesinger
Iliza Shlesinger
Performer
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Iliza Shlesinger
Iliza Shlesinger
Songwriter

Lyrics

I love walking around pharmacies, I love doing that
I can't go to a pharmacy and not spend money
One of the products that creeps me out
They have a product at every pharmacy called KY Intense
You seen the commercials for this thing?
The commercial for, first of all
The commercial for KY Intense
Is super offensive and we will talk about that
First of all, if you've ever used KY Intense
You know that it's intense because it burns
I will volunteer that
I accidentally used it one time thinking like
This is gonna be magical, and it burned
And I promise you, girls don't want that
In my life, I've never been like, "Man, that sex was awesome"
But you know what I wanted to feel like right after? "Fire"
Of course, they don't bill it as a burning sensation on TV
They call it a tingling sensation
And they try to, like, talk to the girls
They're like, "Ladies."
Do you want more pleasure out of your three minutes?
Do you want that?"
Okay
"Well, KY Intense is great 'cause it's a tingling sensation for her
And he gets to use his penis
So everybody wins"
But even if it was a tingling sensation
We live in a society preconditioned to not want tingling
We don't like tingling
We know that tingling, it means a bad thing is happening
"Hey, everyone, grandma says her arm is tingling
Oh, she must be having an orgasm"
"You don't have to rush her to the hospital
She's laying on the ground with her eyes rolled back in her head
She's clearly enjoying herself"
Tingling
It's horrible
You ever hit your funny bone and been like, "Oh"
The commercial is awful because it's two British people
And they're sitting there having breakfast
And they're discussing all the sex that they had the night before
'Cause they use the KY Intense
But because the Brits are very tacit about sexual things
They're not coming right out and discussing it
They're speaking in code
And at the bottom of the screen are the subtitles in American
So we can understand what they're saying
So they're sitting there and they're eating
They're having their porridge
They're eating their curds and whey
I don't care what the Brits eat, we won the war, so
Right?
So they're sitting there and they're eating it
It's just very quiet and they're just
"It's teeth out to here"
The girl looks at the guy
"Wonderful dessert last night, sire"
She didn't say, "Sire"
They don't talk like that anymore
So she talks and there's subtitles
"Wonderful dessert last night
Hey! What'd you put on my puss? Puss, ****!"
And then the guy responds in kind
He's like, "Oh, yes, it was a bit of a new recipe
Hoped you liked it
Put some of that k-wash shit on my dick, bitch
How you like me now?"
And then the girl is like, "Oh, yes, it was quite invigorating
Didn't expect that one"
"You fucking kidding me with that shit?
What'd you put ants on your dick?
Is this a joke?
You want to fucking die, motherfucker?
You want to end up on Snap?
I'll fucking kill you
This fucking hurts"
Then the guy, like, "Oh, yes, try to spin on an old recipe
Try to dash of nutmeg"
And there were no subtitles for that
'Cause I think they fucking do use nutmeg
And that's what makes it burn so much
Written by: Iliza Shlesinger
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