F.M.I.D.

Lately, I like to take walks after work wearing nothing but my undershirt The wind picking up my eyes The blood rushing back to my heart There's a show on the corner with some kids I met in Oakland You're sitting on the roof of your car parked right outside the record store And have you seen my self-esteem? It's picking up its feet out of the gutter it was laying in "Just blowing off some steam" It's fine, let's walk the tracks until my shorts are ripping at the seams We'll drink a 40 and play polo in my single speeded dream When she gets drunk, she calls me a loser and I get worried that I'll lose her And have to make a bunch of new friends in another stupid town And play my Game Boy on the front porch at Pergs Tryin' to realize that the butterflies that live inside my stomach gotta die And I leaned back and looked up, it said, "Fuck me, I'm drunk" In sharpie on the ceiling of the 76 in downtown Arcata This town's gone to shit, one day I'll learn to commit But for now, I'm throwing pumpkins down the hill at Laurel and California My lungs are blacker than the perique packs and pupils in your eyes After the 40 minute real-talk all the way to In-N-Out We drive each other to our tipping points There's months of lean blunts, pizza joints There's nothin' like the shit found out talking to your mom so late at night And even though it's been getting easier lately It takes a lot to convince me that people don't hate me And sometimes, when I'm in the car with you guys I feel like maybe I'm not that crazy And I'm getting better, and some day I'll get all this straight inside my head But right now I'm still trying to learn how to keep a steady circle of friends But you gave me cocaine for my 19th birthday And about a year ago that day, we almost got arrested at the movies And I was just there talking with my hands shaking in my pockets I looked at you and read your lips, they said, "I've got your back if you've got mine"