Fred

On a white enamled road They pulled him from his mother's womb Hanging from his heels he cried And everyone put on their smiles Ugly red, and dripping wet They put him in a bassinet Tiny toes and fingernails His daddy said "He'll go to Yale" Such was the first day for Fred When he reached the age of nine He killed a frog with a kitchen knife He broke the wing of a noble bird He took a jagged rock, his sling-shot hurled When he reached ten He stole the neighbor's guinea hen Wrapped its beak in masking tape It starved to death in thirteen days Such was the tenth year of Fred When Fred was sweet sixteen He robbed the neighborhood Dairy Queen He drove away in his daddy's car He didn't get far The local buzz hauled him away He went to trial the very next day Found guilty, the sixteenth year for Fred And his daddy cried "Oh Fred, Fred, where'd we go wrong?" "We used to buy you things, I though we got along" "Though, Fred, Fred, you been livin' a life of sin" "Tell me Fred, what are we gonna tell our friends?" When Fred was twenty one He was well prepared for things to come He' learned to kill, hate and steal Now uncle Sam offers better deals We need good men like you, my boy To throw grenades and bang young boys It takes aggression and the will of steal And mainly we got a bullet to fill And off to fight went soldier Fred When Fred was Thirty-two He was covered with medals all red and blue He killed twelve men in eleven years Well, never once did he shed a tear Now Fred was a-coming home Discharged with a broken bone Climbed the board he has claimed at night And roared all thinking the clear blue sky And that's where claims always slide Fred found a seat in row number two He sat himself and loosened his boots Along came a problem with long and short hair And said "Hey man, you sat on my chair" Fred got up, and hit the poor man Forgot about the cast he had on his hand He killed him dead in one clean blow It didn't bother Fred too much though Such was homecoming for Fred And his daddy cried And his daddy cried "Oh Fred, Fred, where'd we go wrong?" "We used to buy you things, I though we got along" "Though, Fred, Fred, you been livin' a life of sin" "Tell me Fred, what are we gonna tell our friends?"