The Baseball Game

Proud of you! We're sitting and watching Jason play baseball We're watching Jason play baseball We're watching Jewish boys Who cannot play baseball Play baseball We're watching Jewish boys Who cannot play baseball Play I hate baseball I really do Unlike the rest of you I hate baseball We really wish he'd take this more seriously It's weird how he swings the bat It's weird how he swings the bat And why does he have to throw like that? We're sitting and watching Jason make errors The most pathetical errors We're watching jewish boys Who almost read latin Up battin' and battin' bad Remember Sandy Koufax You can do it If you wanna do it Take heart from Hank Greenberg It's not genetic Even you can be copacetic I think, I think I think you can I think you can We're sitting and watching Jason play baseball We're watching Jason play baseball We're watching Jewish boys We're watching Jewish boys We're watching... Slide, Jason! Slide, Jason! Slide... What is he doing here? What are you doing here? Jason asked me to come Since he asked me to come I came Just what I wanted at a little league game My ex-husband's ex-lover Isn't that what every mother dreams about having at a little league game? Looking at Whizzer is like eating trayf The kid was out! The kid was safe! The kid was out! The kid was safe... baby let's focus on the... Hey! I love baseball I love Jason That's what I'm doing here Hey! Where the hell they get that umpire? Oops, sorry, sorry Look who's here Say hello Hello You're looking sweeter than a donut Marvin Whizzer Is he still queer? Am I queer? I don't know Does it matter? It's been so long since I could tell Sit in front of me I wanna see the baldspot Come on, come on Move in front of me It gives me pleasure to see the baldspot Since it's the only physical imperfection that you've got I wanna see it I wanna touch it I wanna run my hands through it We're sitting And watch the kid as he misses We're watching Marving throw kisses We're watching sixty seven pounders Watching jewish boys miss grounders Watching boy field, boys bat Boys miss, boys bat Watching Jason on deck Swinging the bat Here we go honey! Hey, Jason! Oh, hi, Whizzer Glad you came Keep your head in the box Don't think of a thing Keep your head in the box Your eye on the ball Take a breath then let it out and swing Woo-woo! That's what I'm talking about See, that's how's supposed to look Keep your head in the box Don't think of a thing Keep your head in the box Your eye on the ball Take a breath then let it out and swing Ok, go get 'em Thanks Whizzer Even bald he looks good Just remember he's psychotic He looks damn good but he's cheap as dirt Even maniacs can charm Which he does So beware And just be careful When he smiles that smile Avoid him Or else sound the alert Whizzer? Marvin? Do you think there's any hope for the kid? I love Jason But this is not his venue How could I know without him My life would be boring as shit Batter up! Jason! You got this buddy Jason, you gotta step a little closer to the plate Next to it Yes it is Get in there He's gonna get hit by the ball Please, God Don't let me make the same mistakes We're sitting And watching Jason, the batter We know our cheering won't matter It is the very final inning And the other team is winning And there's two outs Two strikes But the bases are loaded And... Would it be possible to see you, or to kiss you or to give you a call? Anything's possible Jason hit the ball Run!