Haunted

I don't know why I can't shake this Feel like I've been livin' life, in the matrix I don't even feel alive, it don't make sense I just wanna be alright, I fuckin' hate this Tell me when's it gonna change 'Cause every single person keeps sayin' the same thing Stay strong now you'll make it through the pain But its hard to see the sun when you're living in the rain I barely know my dad, now his hair's all grey 'Cause, I spent all of my time doin' drugs, tryna fade Out all of the demons, when I couldn't get away I never said I love you, instead, I would say I hate All this time gone, that I can't get back Feel like every single night, I'm just living in the past I lie and say I'm happy, every single time I'm asked I don't wanna be a burden, so I just put on a mask Forty-thousand people, tellin' me I can't quit I promise that I'm fightin', just keep prayin' that I win Still, got a lot of things, that I still keep in And, I need to let them go, I don't know where to begin I used to watch my pap slap my gram, and he'd laugh, as she ran And I didn't understand the man was so bad So, I treated him better than I did my own dad I was so damn young, I didn't understand I seen shit, that a kid never should I bottle it all up, and act like I'm good Reality is, I'm just so fuckin' shook I feel like an outcast, so misunderstood I miss bein' young Back when I didn't have problems, just fun Back before I had to worry about funds Now, to feel that way, I gotta get drunk I'm still stuck in this rut Honestly, feel like I'll never be up I'm sick of this feeling, I swear that it's fucked I need to make changes, reality sucks Still don't know who I am I look in the mirror like, "Who is this man?" I still have no clue, of my purpose or path But, somethin' keeps tellin' me that I should rap So, I keep movin' Took all my pain, and then started a movement I swear to you all, that this is more than just music I put all my life into all that I'm doin' I can't let the fans down Gotta stick to the plan, now And, hope it all pans out I don't know how, but I know this my path, now Sacrificing my life Turnin' down friends, just to stay in and write I'm watchin' them live, as I'm sittin' behind And, I just keep on drownin', but say that I'm fine Feel like I'm alone I got all these problems, and nobody knows Everything changin', I hate that I know I used to be happy, but now, I'm so cold 'Cause, home isn't home I just keep on runnin', don't know where to go These demons keep comin', I hope I don't fold I risk my whole life, for this path that I chose