They Call Me Mr Snips

They call me Mr Snips Fond of sinking ships Ah, but don't hold that against me, I implore I hear them sing my praise When they brave my waves As if prayer could make the fish forgive the shore How you scrape and fawn, with your cassocks on Such a waste of breath, your childish piety For if I ever heed your call, you'll wonder why you called at all Hey, every ship is bound to sink eventually! Am I the perfect god? I never ride rough-shod Upon your grudges or lascivious delights And you can scream my name whenever you're in ecstasy or pain And no lightning bolt will strip you of your sight Ah, but I will claim my dues A bond you can't refuse When the cloud begins to glower on the sea And soon, I'm going to rip your sails Falling round your legs like wedding veils Hey, you can run, but in the end you'll come to me Oh god, we're going down! Maybe it is not too bad to drown If you don't fight, it can be peaceful, I have heard But what's that shadow now, rising off the port and starboard bow? It's a mountain, it's a monster, it's absurd! Oh Tell me what you want, my lord! Say the word, I'll be your sword! Take my faith if you'll just save me and my girl! Well, I never met an atheist at sea But if you want to pray, don't pray to me I'm just the biggest fucking lobster in the world On the killing swell Tiny caravels crave my mercy as they battle with the waves But soft, you godly fools Sweet little dumplings in my gruel Unless you hunger for a cruel inconstant grave!