Alone

Which one of my demons ran off with my self confidence? Which one of my problems took off with my self worth? Stuck inside a race for lost time and acknowledgement Hoping for a future, I ain't tryna die first My mind is the land of the lost and of the lost and reckless Directions that I took when I lost a checklist And problems I ignored tryna write up setlists My head inside a capsule, cost effective but It fried my brain up, my insides caged up Every day was praying I could reinstate my main one Every night was tripping off emotions that resulted in me Wasting all my pay stubs, still I didn't pay much Mouth of a sailor, and mind of a child When you live your whole life in denial don't be surprised When your mind takes a turn tryna drown in the Nile And I'm still tryna count up the times I didn't try and blamed Everybody else for my trials, might as well start digging my grave Gimme a suit and a tie, and let me climb up inside, eulogizing my life My dry bones still opposed to a smile Lying on that tile floor stone cold like "Who I'm 'sposed to be now?" Losing faith in any growth that I had hoped would be bound Each mistake I made superimposed to all my family and foes I reached a point where I just hoped to be drowned Thinking "Boy you've been alone for the longest" Searching for a chrome I could hold, just WIshing for my passing or patronus Home gets further away And I'm still getting younger with age Throw a fist in my face