I was gathering wits at the watering hole alone

I’m approached by an ingenue showing beads and feathers

So I stared deep down through the heart of my stout glass

Still she came at me with the force of an afterschool special

She had hair like mystic blends, she had had

Friends like psychic friends like puppet dancers feeding deadweight pickup lines

I can see just from your eyes, she said she said

You're not like other guys

You give good karma

You got good inner child

She said you're so metaphysical

And I'm so enamored of you

Listen I said back, I'm nobody's guru

I said to the hippie girl, I said, I said

Go back to your drippy world and leave me lonesome

And lay off the patchouli

Sometimes a smoke is just a smoke, I said

When I said sashay away there was no love between the lines

She said ‘God that is so deep’

She said you're so metaphysical

And I'm so enamored of you

Listen I said back, I'm nobody's guru