Everything Happens to Me

I make the date for golf

And you can bet your life it rains

I try to give a party

And the guy upstairs complains

I guess I'll go through life

Just catching colds and missing trains

Everything happens to me

I never miss a thing

I've had the measles and the mumps

And every time I play a match

My partner always trumps

I guess I'm just a fool

Who never looks before he jumps

Everything happens to me

At first my heart thought you

Could break these chains for me

That love would turn the trick

To end despair

But now I just can't fool

This head that thinks for me

I've mortgaged all my castles

In the air

I've telegraphed and phoned

I sent a normal special too

The answer was goodbye

And there was even postpays too

I fell in love just once

And then it had to be with you

Everything happens to me

Everything happens to me