Reasons Not to Die (Demo)

I'm sorry the party you threw for me Was met with such a royal hitch I'm a bitch, I don't mean to be selfish You rolled out the carpet to watch it catch fire It's just another Thursday, my party I cried like I always do You flew here to help clear the mess that was me Made up of fear and self-hate A stalemate with he-who-shall-not-be-named You tried and you cried, confessing your grip was slipping Couldn't help me, you held me, the shadows began to fade Here's to the ones The renegades who never run Despite all of my ranting and raging so Here's to the ones Who hide the bullet from the gun Foot down on all my bullshit but won't cage me in Despondent, catatonic suicide queen By now I know a screw's loose or too few Or worse there's too many But of course, the dark horse You bet all in stride I hope I'm not a regret, I see sweat I'll fight to the finish line And I get so stuck in my head Lost in all the lies, nihilistic backslide And when I can't get out of bed Then I see the edge I'm slipping from the ledge And praying to gods I don't believe in for a sign Some reasons not to die, and there you are Here's to the ones Who stuck in when they should have run Despite all of my ranting and raging so Here's to the ones Who hide the bullet from the gun Foot down on all my bullshit but won't cage me Here's to my friends All in until the bitter end Drink or two to the toast Not too many though